Day 05 – A show you hate

Star Trek - Discovery (That was the first domino that buried Star Trek under a massive avalanche of junk! I miss the old Star Trek, before Kurtzman took over the franchise.)

I'm a bit bored. So I snagged one of my old 30 Days of ... memes.

Day 01 – A show that should never have been canceled

Stargate Atlantis & Firefly

Day 02 – A show that you wish more people were watching

Firefly & Star Trek: Enterprise

Day 03 – Your favorite new show (aired this TV season)

The Rookie (Season 8) 😍

Day 04 – Your favorite show ever

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine & Stargate Atlantis

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Feel free to snag it too!
<ul> <li>Day 01 – A show that should never have been canceled</li> <li>Day 02 – A show that you wish more people were watching</li> <li>Day 03 – Your favorite new show (aired this TV season)</li> <li>Day 04 – Your favorite show ever</li> <li>Day 05 – A show you hate</li> <li>Day 06 – Favorite episode of your favorite TV show</li> <li>Day 07 – Least favorite episode of your favorite TV show</li> <li>Day 08 – A show everyone should watch</li> <li>Day 09 – Best scene ever</li> <li>Day 10 – A show you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving</li> <li>Day 11 – A show that disappointed you</li> <li>Day 12 – An episode you’ve watched more than 5 times</li> <li>Day 13 – Favorite childhood show</li> <li>Day 14 – Favorite male character</li> <li>Day 15 – Favorite female character</li> <li>Day 16 – Your guilty pleasure show</li> <li>Day 17 – Favorite mini series</li> <li>Day 18 – Favorite title sequence</li> <li>Day 19 – Best TV show cast</li> <li>Day 20 – Favorite kiss</li> <li>Day 21 – Favorite ship</li> <li>Day 22 – Favorite series finale</li> <li>Day 23 – Most annoying character</li> <li>Day 24 – Best quote</li> <li>Day 25 – A show you plan on watching (old or new)</li> <li>Day 26 – OMG WTF? Season finale</li> <li>Day 27 – Best pilot episode</li> <li>Day 28 – First TV show obsession</li> <li>Day 29 – Current TV show obsession</li> <li>Day 30 – Saddest character death</li> </ul>

2018

For me, this year was shaped above all by my shortened vocational training, written exams, and the death of my mother. It was an extremely grueling year. Looking back, I’m honestly surprised I somehow still managed to find time for hobbies—especially my websites.

2019

This year started off just as terrible as 2018 ended. Three days before my practical exam, I tore my patellar tendon and was on sick leave for the next six months. I had two surgeries, a lot of physical therapy, and had to kiss my early graduation goodbye. So in June 2019, I graduated alongside the rest of my class, passing with a grade of B ("2"). Considering I still wasn't 100% recovered, I was happy with that.
The second half of the year was okay. I found a new job fairly quickly and was able to spend more time taking care of home, garden, and my hobbies again.

2020

We all know what started in 2020… Unfortunately, my job suffered a bit due to COVID (keyword: reduced working hours / Kurzarbeit). We worked in two shifts at the clinic: Team A and Team B. I didn't see half of my colleagues for weeks—I hated it!
The upside was having every second week off. Our garden and home became significantly nicer as a result. We renovated, redesigned the garden, and I had plenty of time for reading, writing, and binge-watching.

2021

This year, I made progress in my career and found my (nightmare) dream position at the same hospital where I had completed my training. At first, everything seemed perfect and I was overjoyed—until I wasn't, and the job mutated into a nightmare!
That year, the dentist I worked for after my training also passed away. As did the pastor I worked for from 2010 to 2014.

I spent an immense amount of time in the TolkienVerse that year, escaping to Middle-earth at least virtually.

2022

Everyday work at the hospital during COVID continued to be anything but pleasant this year.

I neglected my hobbies more and more and, without realizing it, slipped into burnout with depression. Starting in October, I was placed on sick leave with these diagnoses.

2023

At the end of April, I let my two-year hospital contract expire and remained on sick leave. Towards the end of the year, I spent two weeks at a rehab clinic in Bad Liebenzell until I caught COVID there and had to cut the stay short. I was far from recovered, but my primary care doctor claimed he could no longer keep signing off on my sick leave under a burnout diagnosis. He felt I could go back to work—even though I wasn't healed in the slightest.

2024

This year, I decided to hang up my beloved profession as a medical assistant (MFA) for good and return to caregiving for those in need, mostly seniors with dementia. That went well for about a year. Then came the relapse into burnout, and it was worse than before. I was genuinely struggling with suicidal thoughts.

2025

A new doctor joined my primary care practice this year and took me under her wing. I think my regular doctor just wanted to get rid of me—empathy isn't one of his virtues. She was wonderful, listened to me, and tried to help. She really tried. However, she also prescribed an antidepressant that I've been taking since April of that year.

By the end of the year, she unfortunately left the practice. I suspect she spent too much time with her patients (like me) and didn't sit well with the boss. But she still helped me get another rehab stay approved. I promised her I would hold on until it began in January. She was terrified I might actually take my own life.

2026

I spent New Year's at the rehab clinic (back in Bad Liebenzell) and enjoyed six full weeks of recovery. I held on, and it was completely worth it! Step by step, through the therapeutic measures, I found my way back to myself.

However, I also resigned from my job at the care home as of July 31st and am now job hunting again. I can no longer work with people. Or rather: according to my rehab therapists, I shouldn't. I'm terrible at setting boundaries and constantly sacrifice myself for the well-being of others. Plus, I’m far too empathetic—unlike my primary doctor.

So now I'm open to anything. Whether it's cemetery maintenance, crime scene cleaning, or warehouse work: I'm looking in every direction and am open to anything, as long as I don't have to care for people anymore.

That’s my year so far! I’m starting fresh! I have energy again and feel like diving back into my hobbies. I'm feeling nostalgic and am very active again in the Stargate Atlantis fandom, writing, making fan art, and creating fan videos.

I’m also playing Star Trek Online again after playing Lord of the Rings Online for many years. But since I was always looking after the kinship and my online guide there, I wanted to step back. Besides, the game's tech is hopelessly outdated and doesn't seem like it'll ever be modernized. A shame, because I always loved traveling through Middle-earth.

Now, I'm back on Star Trek Online daily (since August 2025) and enjoying casual gaming with zero obligations. And I'm writing again—a whole lot! It feels as if a blockage in my head has finally cleared.

Since June, I've reduced my antidepressant dose—without the doctor's consent, since he believes I've been depressed for years—and I feel truly good. I’m sleeping well ever since I started allergen immunotherapy for house dust mites. I’ve hit perimenopause and am dealing with pretty much every annoying symptom in the book. In rehab, I read a fantastic book that helped me understand myself and my body better. I think that ultimately gave me the final push I needed.

I am not (and no longer) depressed. I was suffering from chronic sleep deprivation. Add perimenopause on top of that, and it did the rest. No wonder I was psychologically completely wrecked!

So thanks for nothing, dear primary doctor and psychiatrist. They just wanted to pump me full of meds, insisting I couldn't function without them. F*** you!

Titel: Phasen der Trauer
Autorin: artphilia
Alter: PG-13
Paar: McShep
Tags: Grief, post-Ep, Slash, Friends to lovers
Beta: Yes
Zusammenfassung: Der Sonntag sollte ein Tag der Ruhe sein, doch er endete in einer Katastrophe. Nach der verheerenden Explosion und dem plötzlichen, unbegreiflichen Tod von Dr. Carson Beckett verfällt Atlantis in ein reibungsloses Funktionieren, das sich für Rodney McKay und John Sheppard wie blanker Verrat anfühlt.
Anmerkung: Diese Geschichte ist ein Herzensprojekt. Als die Episode „Sunday“ damals ausgestrahlt wurde, war ich absolut entsetzt. Carson Beckett war das emotionale Herz von Stargate Atlantis – ein empathischer Anker. Dass sein plötzlicher Tod in der Serie so schnell abgehandelt wurde, als sei er austauschbar, hat mich fassungslos zurückgelassen. Selbst Aiden Ford wurde gefühlt länger hinterhergetrauert.

Nach einem aktuellen Rewatch kam dieser Schmerz wieder hoch. Ich wusste, ich muss endlich die Geschichte schreiben, die wir damals als Abschied gebraucht hätten. In dieser Fanfiction gebe ich Rodney und John den Raum, den die Serie ihnen verwehrt hat: den Weg durch die fünf Phasen der Trauer. Sie dient als Katalysator, um die tiefen Gefühle zwischen den beiden (McShep) an die Oberfläche zu bringen. In dieser Galaxie bleibt keine Zeit für feige Ausflüchte.

The beautiful song “Dust in the Wind” by Kansas inspired me to create this long-overdue fan video about Dr. Elizabeth Weir.

This is my first fan made video in over 20 years. Hope you like it.

Watch on YouTube

Oh, that is a fun one! I've did this one before, back in 2015! Let's see what's changed. :)

1. What fandom(s) do you read? Star Trek, Stargate Atlantis, The Lord of the Rings / The Hobbit / The Silmarillion


2. If you could request more of a certain type of fic, which would it be? Orville Star Trek Fusion Fics! Because The Orville IS Star Trek!


3. What is your favorite all-time fic? A truth that's told with bad intent by noo (There's a podfic at AO3 too!)


4. Do you ever re-read fics? How about triple-read? Sure! Some fics are very seasonal, so I read them once a year.


5. Do you prefer angst or fluff? Depends on my mood. I like both a lot.


6. Do you prefer long fics or short fics? Depends on my time. But I kinda prefer long fics, around 50k words.


7. Name some incomplete fics that you wish were completed. I stopped reading unfished fics for a reason.


8. Talk about the ships that you read. Currently I am back to McShep. But I still enjoy McKirk a lot!


9. Do you read smut? OMG yeah, who doesn't?!


10. What’s the most hard-core smut or kinky fic you’ve ever read (be honest)! Saveword by shoreleave. I never was into BDSM before, but I loved it!


11. Do you read AUs? Jep, sometimes.


12. List a few of your favorite AUs. Same 2015, plus Catching Fire by kel_1970


13. What type of AUs are your favorites? Give a general description. Can't say for sure. Sometimes it's just the idea of my favorite couples far away from home.


14. What makes you give up on reading a fic? Typos, bad ideas, when my beloved characters are out of character.


15. What makes you pick up a fic, what makes it sound interesting? I need a good short-cut and of course the right tags to get me interested.


16. Name a fic that made you cry (or that made you come close). It Was a Tuesday by VintageVulpes


17. Name a fic that made you laugh a lot. Das Universum von A bis Z by uena


18. Do you have a fic recommendation page or master list? Check my personal blog or my AO3 account for bookmarks and recs.


19. How many fics do you think you’ve read before? Before what? I'm reading fanfics since 1999! It's thousands!


20. What’s the weirdest fic you’ve ever read? Describe it. I don't read weird fanfics. I am very selective.


21. Do you read crack!fic? Not really, no.


22. Name a few of your favorite crack!fics. Can't, I don't like silly stuff.


23. Has fluff ever made you cry? What about angst? No.


24. What’s the longest fic you’ve ever read? I'm not sure. There was this epic Lord of the Rings fic I once read. But I don't remember much of it. It was about Thranduil and how he became King.


25. What’s your opinion on reading dubious consent or no consent? I avoid it because I was sexually abused as a child and don't want to remember it.


26. Name a type of fic you’ll never ever read. Ships I don't like in general.


27. Name a type of fic that you wish there was more of. The Orville - Ed/Kelly <3


28. Who are your favorite fanfiction author(s)? laughter_now, noo, uena


29. When you find an author you like, do you follow them? Of course!


30. How often do you read fanfiction? On a daily basis to be honest. Every night before I go to sleep.


31. Do people know that you read fanfiction? Yes.


32. Do you leave reviews after reading fics? If so, what do they sound like? Yes, of course! It mostly positive, but sometimes I leave critics as well.


33. When you read a good fic, do you go to the author’s page? Yes.


34. Name a common type of fic that you cannot stand. x/reader - that's kind of childish


35. Name all the Work in Progress fics that you are currently reading. None.


36. Has a fic ever left you unable to fall asleep or think about anything else? Just my own when I still was in a writing process.


37. Are you good about keeping up when reading Work in Progresses? I don't read WIPs anymore.


38. Name some of your favorite fic recommendations pages. -


39. Name a fanfiction author that you’re scared to talk to because they’re so amazing. -


40. Have you ever written fanfiction or considered it? I'm a fanfic writer since 1999! Fuck, I am old! *cries*


41. Name a fic that has a perfect ending. A truth that's told with bad intent by noo


42. Name a fic that you wish was longer. A hundred days (and counting) by hope_calaris, Rei


43. Do you read OT3 fics commonly? Have you ever? I read a few McKay/Sheppard/Beckett fics and some Tucker/Sato/Archer. Years and years ago! I prefer OTP. ;)


44. Do you mainly read TV shows, movies, or books? TV shows


45. Do you read fanfiction about Anime? Nope.


46. If you could imagine the perfect fic, what would it be like? McShep, Friends to lovers, slow burn, hurt/comfort, Rodney!Whump, happy ending


47. If you had to introduce someone to fanfiction with a few fics, which would you suggest? Depends a lot to the person and the fandom they like ...


48. Have you ever read a fic containing character death? Sure.


49. Do you have an AO3/Fanfiction.net/LiveJournal page? Link it. AO3, fanfiction.net and livejournal.com are dead!


50. What sites do you typically use to read on? stargatefanfic.de, treknation.de, ardafanfic.de and of course archiveofourown.org

Leute, was soll ich sagen. Lange ist’s her, dass ich hier etwas gepostet habe. Es wird Zeit, dass ich dem Journal mal wieder etwas Leben einhauche. Und was könnte da besser passen, als ein neues Layout, passend zu meiner neu entflammten Leidenschaft für McShep!
Dank cassiope25 hab ich hier mal wieder hereingeschaut und konnte nicht anders, als sofort auf der Straße der Erinnerung surfen.

Ich schreibe derzeit wieder fleißig McShep Fanfics, allerdings nach wie vor in meiner Muttersprache. Das wird sich vermutlich nie ändern. Immer aktuell findet ihr meine neuesten Geschichten auf stargatefanfic.de und auch auf AO3.

I lost my mom little over 6 weeks ago. She died after a long battle against various diseases. She had a stroke over 10 years ago, 2 heart attacks, 3 types of cancer and a renal insufficiency. This is the first year I will have without any parent, and sometimes I don't know how to survive these weeks. I love Christmas more than any other season of the year. But it won't be the same as it used to be.

I was just listening to Christmas songs at YT, and then I found this beautiful piece of music, and it went just through to my heart. I just wanted to share it with you and hope you like it too.

Da wir in diesem Jahr aus Zeitmangel und anderen Gründen kein Weihnachtswichteln veranstalten und keinen brandneuen Adventskalender zusammenstellen werden (eure Weihnachtsfavoriten werden trotzdem im Weihnachtsspezial erscheinen), haben Amber und ich uns etwas anderes für euch ausgedacht. Aktuell ist ja leider nicht so sehr viel los auf TrekNation und wir dachten, dass es euch womöglich einfach nur an Schreibideen mangelt. Daher haben wir beschlossen, den Trekzember ins Leben zu rufen. Was ein Fictober ist, wisst ihr eventuell, falls aber nicht, erkläre ich es euch in aller Kürze: Der Fictober bietet für jeden Tag im Oktober einen Schreibprompt (ein Wort, eine Dialogzeile etc.), welchen es zu erfüllen gilt. Und der Trekzember ist im Grunde nichts anderes nur eben im Dezember und nicht im Oktober. Wir hätten auch den Ficzember ins Leben rufen können, aber da wir eine Star Trek Community sind, hielt ich den Trekzember für passender und Amber gefiel die Idee auch gut.

Die Regeln sind einfach; schreibt zu so vielen Prompts, wie ihr möchtet. Ihr müsst nicht zu allen Prompts etwas schreiben, dürft es aber sehr gerne tun, wenn ihr genug Zeit und Muse habt. Die Fanfics dürfen in Form von Drabbles, Ficlets, Oneshots erscheinen, oder gerne auch eine Serie bilden. Wenn ihr möchtet, könnt ihr gerne auch für jeden Prompt einzelne Kapitel schreiben, so dass am Ende eine zusammenhängende Fanfic herauskommt.

Ein festes Fandom gibt es nicht und auch kein Pairing oder ähnliches. Ihr dürft zu euren OTPs schreiben, zu verschiedenen Star Trek Inkarnationen oder gerne auch über eure OCs. Dahingehend gibt es keine Einschränkungen. Die Alterseinstufung ist euch ebenfalls frei überlassen.

Einzige Bedingung ist, dass ihr die Prompts zum jeweiligen Datum (siehe Nummerierung) im Dezember online stellt. Wir geben euch absichtlich ein paar Tage Vorlaufzeit, damit evtl. noch ein Betaleser hinzugezogen werden kann.



Eine Abstimmung wird es nicht geben, da es sich hierbei nicht um eine reguläre Challenge handelt.

Flore leidet an akuter myeloischer Leukämie. Eine Stammzellenspende ist ihre einzige Überlebenschance. Ihre Familie hat deshalb eine Typisierungaktion in Stuttgart-Möhringen organisiert.

Zum Zeitungsartikel!

Helft mit, lasst euch testen und in der DKMS registrieren. Jeder hat das Potential ein Leben zu retten!

Photobucket sperrt Bilder und verärgert Nutzer. Mich eingeschlossen! Wundert euch bitte nicht, wenn die einen oder anderen Bilder in meinem Journal verschwunden sind. Schuld daran ist Photobucket!

Hier könnt ihr nachlesen, was quasi über Nacht passiert ist!

Kurz und knapp; ich bin nicht bereit 399$ im Jahr zu bezahlen, damit meine Bilder wieder angezeigt werden! Die können mich doch mal!

Ich kann es kaum fassen, aber das erste Ausbildungsjahr neigt sich bereits dem Ende zu. Die Zeit in der Schule genieße ich ganz besonders und ich bin heilfroh, dass die Pfingstferien nach dieser Woche um sind. Ich hatte nämlich keinen betrieblichen Urlaub und wir hatten Vertretung für drei weitere Arztpraxen, so dass bei uns in den letzten zwei Wochen die Hölle los war!

Außerdem vermisse ich meine Schulfreundinnen, die mich, trotz meines Alters, in ihrer Mitte aufgenommen haben. Ich bin sozusagen die Klassenmama geworden und fühle mich sehr wohl in dieser Rolle. :)

Noch ein paar wenige Wochen, dann gibt es das erste Schulzeugnis für mich seit rund 20 Jahren. Ich bin schon sehr gespannt.^^

In der Arztpraxis läuft es gut. Bis auf Becken, Hüfte, Wirbelsäule und ein paar andere Exoten, kann ich schon alles röntgen. Kinder lassen sich am liebsten von mir Gipse abnehmen, da es bei mir 100%ig schmerzfrei ist. (Was nicht unbedingt für alle Kolleginnen gilt!)
Mit Angy habe ich mich inzwischen gut arrangiert. Ich würde sie fast als Freundin bezeichnen, auch wenn wir privat nichts miteinander unternehmen oder so. Aber wir verstehen uns sehr gut und gehen aufeinander ein - was ja anfangs nicht unbedingt der Fall war. Mit Marianne verstehe ich mich sowieso gut. Grundsätzlich komme ich mit allen gut klar. Nur der Zickenkrieg, zwischen den anderen (Angy, Cathy, Maria) treibt mich manchmal zur Verzweiflung.

Ab Juli kommt ein zweiter Arzt, so dass wir eine Gemeinschaftspraxis werden. Und der wiederum bringt drei MFAs mit. Ich bin sehr gespannt auf die Erweiterung des Teams und die damit verbundenen Umstellungen.

Fazit: Das erste Lehrjahr verlief prima, sowohl praktisch als auch theoretisch. Ich bin zufrieden mit mir und meinen Leistungen. :)

I'm looking for moderators to help me spread the word and help me archive what was lost many years ago. I could just use another pair of hands or two, to bring back one of the biggest Dawson's Creek fanfic archives that ever existed.

I'm also open for suggestions if you think the archive is missing something.

I can tell you, I feel GREAT! No more trouble breathing, no more pain. I am so happy! A few days in pain are really worth the end result.

So, here I am. I've just imported my livejournal to dreamwidth, since I don't like the 'new' policy at livejournal ever since the Russians took over the management. I'm a slasher, straight but not narrow and for God's sake I want to post what ever I want to my journal without any restrictions!

If you stumble upon my journal here and we have already been friends over at lj (or not) feel free to subscribe! I'm always open for new friends.^^

On Monday I had and septoplasty and turbinate reduction surgery. The first 3 days felt a bit like hell, because I couldn't breathe through my nose - at all. But as of today I*m starting to feel better. I'm still having a headache once in a while, but the medications helps a lot. Today the stiches got removed and that lessens the pain in the nose a lot! Plus I don't have to sneeze that much anymore! :D

Here is a video that explains what septoplasty is and what it's good for.

I can't wait to see Beauty and the Beast! Love the trailer so much! ♥



Anyone else going to watch it?